This activity enables you to look at your interpersonal
style and at your style in relationship to the styles of others. You may find the activity most helpful if you
first complete the activity and then read the discussion that follows. Once you have completed the discussion,
return to the activity and reconsider your responses. Also, this will be a good time to consider
your style in relationship to the styles of others.
Here focus is on your basic nature. It is important to get in touch with who you
really are and to avoid responding in terms of how you would like to be or how
you would like to be seen by others. In
each of the five sets below, consider the descriptions of each personality
type, get in touch with who you really are, and then circle either A or B,
depending on which one most closely parallels your nature. It may help to think in terms of how you
would respond or react during times of stress or tension. It is at these times when ones real nature
tends to come to the surface.
1-A: SHARKS Sharks
are involved and decisive. They are very
much into being individuals who are not part of the group and who definitely
operate in their own interest. Being
involved takes the form of being extremely alert, aware of what is going on,
and prepared to act quickly and efficiently.
Decisiveness is a major characteristic, with sharks being able to make a
decision and act on it without hesitation or second guessing.
B: SEALS Seals are
helpful and playful. They are definitely
part of the group and social participation is a high priority for them. They like being helpful, doing things for and
with others, and making things work out well for everyone. They also have an ability to be helpful in a
fun way, with playfulness being one of their primary characteristics.
2-A: LIONS Lions are
assertive and positive. They loudly make
their presence known and are immediately recognized and are always attended
to. Their assertiveness serves them well
in terms of furthering their point of view, their ideas, and their view of the
situation and how it should be. They are
also positive, expect to succeed, assume that others will respond to their
needs and interest, and take the attitude that they never lose but only
sometimes need a little more time to win.
B: LAMBS Lambs are
loyal and gentle. A lamb is the type who
says she will do anything for you and really means it. A lambs loyalty causes her to go the last
mile for anyone to whom the lamb is loyal.
They are also recognizable by their gentleness, ability to go with the
flow, and the certain knowledge that they will never become aggressive,
abrasive, or menacing.
3- A: BEARS Bears are
spontaneous and relaxed. Their
spontaneity results in their being a lot of fun, easy to be around much of the
time, and always ready to be part of the action and usually responsible for
spontaneously initiating the action.
Bears also appear to be quite relaxed, laid back, and always in
control. They do have a tendency to go into
hibernation if things get a little out of their control or are not quite the
way they want them to be and also have a tendency to get a little carried away
with what are sometimes bone-crushing bear hugs when they want to press their
point, with those hugs coming up fairly spontaneously and a little
B: BEAVERS Beavers
are very responsible and open. They do
what is expected, always follow through with their commitments, and are intent
on taking care of the piece of the world that has been assigned to them. This responsibility combines with openness to
make them very accepting, very up front and sharing, and willing to work with
anyone under almost any circumstances.
Their sense of responsibility does get a little rigid sometimes in terms
of doing things the way they are supposed to be done whether that is exactly
what the situation calls for or not.
Their openness may occasionally be seen as gullibility and does have the
tendency to make them vulnerable to those who are less scrupulous. Nonetheless, they do what they do very well,
especially if it is not of concern that they seem to have virtually no capacity
to do other than what they do.
4-A: TIGERS Tigers
are energetic and attractive. They are
real go-getters who enjoy taking on a challenge to which they can bring nearly
boundless energy. They are also
extremely attractive in terms of others being attracted to them. Their attractiveness draws a crowd to them
quickly; and they have the good fortune of having the energy to deal with all
of the attention. They are great at
getting things started but sometimes may lack a little in the follow through or
persistence department. It has also been
pointed out that tigers are sexy which is not surprising since they are
obviously attractive and do have the energy to stay out all night and cat
around: a good pastime for a tiger.
B: TURTLES Turtles
are dependable and patient. They can be
counted on in the short run and in the long run. This includes sticking to the path,
persevering under difficult circumstances, and an ability to endure the gusty
winds and bumpy roads inherent in the journey.
Their patience really is a virtue of the first order, giving them the
ability to wait until it all blows over or things clear up. They do have a tendency to crawl into their
shells when the going gets tough or stress gets high; but they are well
protected within the shell and will always be there when the time comes to
start again. They have also been seen as
extremely thorough and able to do a job, especially if it doesnt matter how
long it takes.
5-A: BUZZARDS Buzzards are flexible and supportive. They have the long view, the broad
perspective, and are very good about cleaning up the messes of others. They are what has been described as
troubleshooters and problem finders, although their problem solving is sometimes
excessive and may seem like overkill.
They are also supportive, since they do not need a goal and mission of
their own. They can get involved
sometimes without even being asked and will support which ever cause or side
they happen to be on at the time.
Nonetheless, it is important to emphasize the buzzards ability to
adjust to almost any difficult or complex situation, his ability to find
problems where there may not have been any that were obvious to any one else,
and his willingness to work toward whatever end seems most appropriate and
expedient at the time.
B: BEES Bees are
consistent and accepting. Their
constancy allows them to do the things they do in a regular and predictable
way. They are easy to be around since
their styles are so recognizable and definable.
They are also accepting and seem not to mind changes in situations or
circumstances, the ups and downs experienced by others with whom they
associate, and the fact that the world is not always as others think it should
always be. These positive qualities are
only somewhat diminished by the bees tendency to stick it to you when you
might least expect it because the bee is so sweet and honey like that it is
hard to get upset or annoyed with her, although things do get a little sticky
from time to time.
It is really a jungle out there and is also important
to understand the animals and to understand the animal group to which you
belong. There is also the socialized
civilized side of things, though. This
is where consideration and tolerance come in.
They are not of the nature of individuals but need to be learned over
time and carefully cultivated. Using a
5-point scale with 5 representing very high, 4 representing high, 3
representing medium, 2 representing low, and 1 representing very low, how would
you rate yourself in terms of being considerate with others in your
family? Using the same rating scale, how
would you rate yourself in terms of being tolerant with other people in your
family? Can you give three examples of
your being considerate and three of your being tolerant to support your rating?